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Eyes That Understand (S)pain

Rubinstein plays the suicide note,
       you take me by the noose.

Breaking down, dancing in favor of my ashen

vestigial,looks, in an
       Aragonaise, while
Segovia fumbles to get in tune.

You devastate my moribund, cloudy,  
eyes, with yours so dark, lonesome,

       with want,
             You dance untamed, hair unbridled

       Twirling, arms reaching out towards celestial shine.

Such an unbound ache flows, from mine eyes
             so absent; dying tears yet
collect, profoundly by the full peak of your
       mouth, causing the sting a trauma; you

Breath in, then resonate so completely
       The cry of an Andalusia night.

We leave flamenco's origin for your heart
       Between the subtitle hills,
       white shuddering knolls;
            you say

"Vamos a explorar nuestro mundo..."

Seville, freed us both from eyes so absent,

      They became ruined, like
The shell of that ancient empire, which still ebbs at your center.

       You say
"Vamos a explorar cada mundo otros…"


"explorar, y me hallaréis…"
You are welcome to quote me if you give me credit for the work, meaning citing properly. No stealing my work please.

An attempt at something romantic, also I am trying to show off some Spanish. Please correct me, if I messed up the Spanish parts. :dummy:

Anyway, like mentioned this was an attempt at something romantic. Opinions, ladies? lol

As per usual; general comments from the literary inclined? lol
Add a Comment:
Critique by shadowsmokeandfire Dec 27, 2012, 12:52:35 PM
I really liked the idea, and I understand the vice you were going for, but you might want to be ready for the deluge of people wondering where the Hetalia fanfiction is. Other than that, I was wondering how eyes could be lonesome and ferocious. I realize those things not mutually exclusive. Why is the person saying they want to explore every other world? What worlds are we talking about here? I really liked the mood of the poem, but the beginning was a little confusing with all the nouns. I'm not a dancer, so I didn't know about the aragonaise step, and did you mean arthur or anton rubinstein? Anyway, other than a few questions/confusions, it is good poem.
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Psycho-wolf131 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013   Writer
what does nuesto mean? I'm taking Spanish this year, and comprehended those words. You did great though, I admire this piece
Canis44 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Student Writer
"Nuestro" means "our," it is similar the Latin pronoun "noster" that carries the same meaning. Good luck with your Spanish. :)
Psycho-wolf131 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013   Writer
Thank you :)
Canis44 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Student Writer
You are welcome. :D
Canis44 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Student Writer
*similar to
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Submitted on
December 22, 2012
File Size
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