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January 21
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A Vision of Aphrodite on the Shore

Here, in this mind of petty indignation.
Here in this place of stale bread
and salty tears, is an image
of a maiden warm, and intense, blood stains
her lips; an opiate calm enters her air,

and

When Ceres' heat comes, it screams
out from her passing by, the beauty within
tō theō.

Exile, sounds within the pattering
of sandals atop dipping sand.
The green dress fell like a burden
she was happy to give over to Artemis.
When she removes the band from
her hair, the wind smells of juniper,
the water swirls with brunette.

I would go to her in amour, with blood
stained lips, and mingle flesh.  

Later,the wicker basket would overflow with
wine from Florence, a silk blanket brought in kind,
touching worry, would caress her form, (that the
Sun did not dare abuse), bringing gentleness to a
bare lithe wild flower.

Instead, I enter the waves of indignation, a mind
beaten with shards of glass, a throat scarred from
sorrowful sour mash. The night swallows the gulls,
and Victoria shimmers through the shadows, reflections
of the gems of life.

The thought of something lurking in the dark,
beneath the waves makes me think of Ulysses struggling,
to return loyal to his great amour.I find self-bereavement,
and choke down the waves of dark fear, I wonder if the sea
can taste the tears off my body, her green dress slithers
by my ear; I die under the gems of life.
:iconcanis44:
You are welcome to quote me if you give me credit for the work, meaning citing properly. No stealing my work please.

Partly inspired by the :iconheart-of-poetry: prompt "color."

What I listened to while writing, [link]
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:iconmariandalton:
There are beautiful echoes of the Romantic poets all through this poem, but this is certainly not a pastiche. If anything, it reads as though you've transformed the Romantic sensibility into a contemporary one.

The classic images - the wicker basket, Florentine wine, wild flowers - are jarringly juxtaposed with much grittier concepts, lending the poem a striking air of originality. The Romantic poet becomes akin to Hemingway or the Beats. This saves the poem from becoming sentimental; indeed, it takes a darker turn.

Aphrodite herself is originally portrayed. We have the sense that she is approachable, even dangerous. This is a sharp contrast to classical depictions, and much closer to her nature as an essentially amoral figure whose lovers rarely escape unscathed.

The tone is restrained, descriptive without being flowery, and emotive without being maudlin. There's a real mastery at work here, showing a maturity of voice that is all too rare.



:blackrose:
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:iconcelestialmemories:
Mood: Adoration ~CelestialMemories Jan 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm just...absolutely speechless, this is so beautiful that it really made be blush. ^^;

You did a lovely job with this piece, you are definitely a natural at this elegant romance poetry! :star:
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:iconcanis44:
Mood: Joy *Canis44 Feb 1, 2013  Student Writer
Well I was going for visceral lol. Thanks for the fav. :D
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:icondragonschest:
=DragonsChest Jan 25, 2013  Professional Writer
Lovely poetry... :wow:
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:iconcanis44:
*Canis44 Jan 25, 2013  Student Writer
Thanks a bunch it means a lot :D. This piece might be my last poetry piece for a while. Between school, and dealing with the trolls who decided to hop on my DA page, I am not getting much poetry done. :(
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:icondragonschest:
=DragonsChest Jan 26, 2013  Professional Writer
God I hate those fricking trolls. I have had my share of them lately myself. One such person kept critiquing my work, and I never asked for one. At first I just thanked him, and thought he would go away, but he kept on, and sometimes he was just down right rude. I told him to stop the critiques and if he wanted to comment that was one thing, but to keep it civil. He didn't listen and I finally had to block him.
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:iconthenighttimewanderer:
I particularly like the imagery presented here. Felt like I was reading from the past in a way.
Nicely done.
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:iconcanis44:
*Canis44 Jan 23, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you for your comment, I am glad that you found some enjoyment in the piece. :)
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